Rule 1. Remember life is energy so the more energy you can divert from other people the more energy you can obtain.
Rule 2. Money is all that matters, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Rule 3. If you ever find yourself in a survival situation never under any circumstances drink your own piss or anyone else's. I don't care how thirsty you get, is fucking piss for fucks sake, don't be that guy.
Rule 4. If you own a dog and you pick up it's shit when you are out walking it you are a disgusting human being and need to rethink your miserable life. Dog shit and piss is good for nature, a dog carefully decides which bushes, trees and patch of grass to piss or shit on. Your dog has a lifelong deal with nature and doesn't need your pansy ass fucking it up.
Rule 5. If you think your wife or girlfriend is cheating on you then she probably is so you will intern need do the same thing to her just to see if she suspects that you suspect her cheating and have decided also to cheat in order to see if your hunch was correct.
Rule 6. Never help stupid people, you have to remember some people are beyond your help and you need to let them learn on their own. The same goes with any person, nobody listens to anyone because everyone thinks they're right because their logic is based on previous experiences so why the fuck are you trying to help someone that only learns from their past experiences? You got to let that shit go it's in the past.
Rule 7. If a cat gets stuck in a tree for fuck's sake don't call the fire department or the police. How many fucking dead cats have you seen in trees? None because those motherfuckers are smart unlike your dumbass.
Rule 8. You know that fucking Stackers game at the arcade don't waste your money it's impossible to beat every time you get to the very top the last red square always jumps, fuck that game and the line up the key game too.
Rule 9. When you order fast food keep it simple, don't get particular with your order it's fucking fast food they are just going too fuck it up that much more, don't make it worse than it needs to be for you or the already miserable workers.
Rule 10. There are no rules in life and we are all fucked so just try your best to minimize all the life giving ass fuckings or you might have the life literally fucked out of your ass.