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Fightweets: Nick Diaz’s greatest hits

There’s a short list of fighters who simply have a knack for making a reporter’s job easy. When Chael Sonnen’s around, it’s simply a matter of turning on your recorder, letting him go, and then figuring out which angle he’s trying to work afterwards. Michael Bisping tells you straightaway what he thinks about any particular topic, believes what he says, and doesn’t care what you think about it. Ronda Rousey has an opinion on everything and doesn’t wait for you to ask. Then there’s Nick Diaz. Unlike the above-mentioned fighters, who are great quotes, but you can usually figure out which direction they’re heading, one can never predict where the path is going to lead when Diaz has the floor. Stockton’s finest proved this once again during Thursday’s wild UFC 158 media teleconference, in which he and Georges St-Pierre got more than a little sidetracked. You can listen to the full conference call here, but Diaz’s standout gem, I’m the superhero coming in with the anti-bulls***, got us thinking about some of his greatest quotes over the years. I polled my colleagues for a list of our favorite Diazisms. Here are the results. Enjoy, and if we missed something, feel free to add it in the comment section: Where you at, Georges? Where you at, motherf—? Diaz in the Octagon after beating B.J. Penn at UFC 137. St-Pierre was sitting cageside. There’s not enough money in this sport. You’ve got Floyd Mayweather making $25 million. He can’t stop a double-leg. — More Diaz UFC 137 goodness, this time at the post-fight presser. So we’re throwing spinning s— now? — to Carlos Condit, after Condit threw a spinning back fist during their UFC 143 fight. I can pass a drug test in eight days with herbal cleansers. I drink 10 pounds of water and sweat out 10 pounds of water every day. I’ll be fine. –Diaz to the Los Angeles Times in 2009. Let’s just say the plan has failed him a couple times. I feel like you instigate fights quite a bit. Maybe that’s your job, but where I come from people like that get slapped. — Diaz to our own Ariel Helwani, prior to his fight with Paul Daley. There was the epic Hollywood press conference in 2009 which kicked off both the Strikeforce-Showtime partnership and promoted the Diaz-Frank Shamrock bout at HP Pavilion in San Jose. In the middle of their back-and-forth banter, Shamrock informed Diaz he had his own personal parking spot at HP Pavilion, and asked Diaz if he had one. No, and I don’t have no f— dressy suits either, said Diaz, who later flipped off the nattily attired Shamrock when they were supposed to square off for photos. Then there’s the grandaddy of them all, Diaz’s Elite XC beef with K.J. Noons. First, Diaz introduced the phrase Don’t be scared, homie into the MMA vernacular, prompting a brawl with Noons’ crew after Diaz’s win over Mushin Cobbrey. Then, the term mean mug forever entered our lives. Telling Yahoo! Sports about a near-altercation in the hotel parking lot with Noons’ posse the same weekend: My car pulled up in front of the hotel and he and his girlfriend and his mom and dad were there. Right away, he put his mug on me. He was staring me down and trying to give the impression that he’s hard core. I flipped him off, but he’s standing over there like he’s flashing. I go, ”ËœWhat the f*** are you doing? I’m not the one doing s***.’ I couldn’t understand why this guy is putting his mean mug on me, but he had to act like he was some kind of a f*** tough guy in front of his girlfriend and his dad. Finally, there was Thursday’s superhero comment, which gave way to his thoughts on the current state of the sport: If anything, I’m the super hero coming with the anti-bulls***. You know, give me a f*** break, are you seriously going to stick to the bulls*** forever? This is mixed martial arts, ladies and gentlemen. This is some boring-ass s*** we’re watching, you know? And we should see something new, as far as I’m concerned. On behalf of my MMA media colleagues, Nick, I implore you: Don’t ever change. Don’t ever stop keeping it real. The 209 thanks you for it and so do we. And with that, on to this week’s Fightweets. If you’d like to be included in next week’s edition, then follow me on Twitter. Should Wanderlei Silva retire? @RuckerYeah: Can we ever watch a Wanderlei Silva fight without people telling him to retire? He won the fight! Yeah, I get where you’re coming from. It might be my imagination, but it seems like in recent months, we’ve gotten a little out of control with the public hand-wringing over this sort of thing. It’s gotten to the point that every time a grizzled veteran competes, or every time there’s a slugfest like Dennis Bermudez vs. Matt Grice, MMA writers now seem required to deliver the audience a sermon about where this is all headed. Of course no one wants to see anybody get seriously hurt. Of course there are inherent dangers in MMA. No one’s being forced to enter this business against their will. These are adults who willingly chose this a…

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