(Props to UG member KickYoNuts for the find.) Picture this: You’re a young, wannabe rock star who just so happens to be named Eddie Van Halen. Even worse, you just so happen to LOVE playing heavy metal guitar, and truly believe that all the comparisons to the man himself and requests to play Eruption ad nauseam will be worth it when you finally step on stage to accept your Grammy. So you find yourself a decent crew of bandmates, practice your ass off, and finally convince yourself that you are ready for a shot at the big time. Before you know it, you find yourself opening for Alice Cooper at the Wacken Open Air festival in front of an endless sea of eager spectators. You only get one song to blow the collective minds of the masses and it’s an easy choice: a cover of Pantera’s Cowboys From Hell. You step onto the stage and unleash a whammy bar dive that channels the spirit of the almighty Dimebag Darrell himself, but just as you are about to bellow Are you Rrrrreeeaadddyy?!!!, an ill-timed current surges through your microphone and knocks you unconscious. You release your bowels all over your brand new Gibson Les Paul Standard, and even worse, a video of the incident becomes a viral sensation within hours, forever shaming you to a lifetime spent reminiscing about the night you played a spot-on rendition of Eruption with your large intestine. This is the MMA equivalent of that. -J. Jones