(Oh hey, didn’t see you there. When my doctor first informed me that I would be getting murdered by Cris Cyborg this April, I had lots of questions; Is there anything I can do to prevent getting murdered? Would bringing a friend to the fight help my chances? Why me, God, WHYYYY?!)  It has recently been announced that Cris Cyborg’s originally scheduled opponent for her Invicta FC debut on April 5th, Ediane Gomes, has been forced to withdraw from their Invicta FC 5 bout with a rib injury. It’s a real shame, because as someone who used to beat up dudes on the Brazilian underground fight circuit (Fallon Fox’s doppelganger, if you will.*fires invisible pistols*), Gomes was being given more than a snowball’s chance in Hell against Cyborg, a privilege few of her opponents have been able to enjoy. But now, stepping in on short notice against the former Strikeforce women’s featherweight champ will be Fiona Muxlow, a 6-2 grappling specialist out of Queensland, Australia. Originally scheduled to face Julia Budd at the event (who is now awaiting a replacement opponent as of this write up), Muxlow has not competed since dropping a first round armbar to Marloes Coenen at DREAM 18 on New Year’s Eve last year, snapping a three fight win streak in the process. Although Muxlow is coming off a loss — one she was utterly dominated in at that — and lacks any notable victories, one should look beyond the numbers to see what this woman is truly capable of. For starters, she began her MMA career by submitting three straight opponents in a one night tournament, so we know she’s a finisher and has cardio for days to boot. Secondly, Muxlow has a poker face that will burn a hole right through your soul. That HAS to count for something in this topsy-turvy world, dammit. Now that Invicta will be implementing random drug tests in the near future, does anyone give Muxlow a decent chance against Cyborg, or should we just start prepping the hospital bed? -J. Jones